Mod Pod Daily

Quadrophonia, a new style. Straight from the mind into a Cubase file.

Archive for the tag “Love”

Intimacy is painful because the closer you get….

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“Intimacy is tough. It’s fucking hard. Love is hard. With anyone: not just your man, not just your woman, but your mom, your dad, your siblings, your friends. Not because of the inevitable disagreements or any of that nonsense; while those might be annoying, they aren’t the real reason intimacy is painful. Intimacy is painful because the closer you get to someone, the closer you are to the realization that no matter what you do, what you say, how perfect you are, how hard you love, you cannot stop time. Or differing realities. Or change. Or ultimately, loss. Death. Anger. Parting. Separation. So you might disconnect as a means of mitigating that pain but the reality is you only push it into another part of your life, or down the road, to some future unknown time when it’s okay to feel pain (when is that??). It will come out. It always does. So go ahead and love. Love, because it reminds you you’re alive.”

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Camera Shy? (Part 1)

 

Recently I have had the most amazing chance to do two photo-shoots with two different photographers!

Both of them having very different styles:

Photos by Kyria Abrahams, 2012:

Here are a few (ok a bunch of my favorites):

Shooting with Kyria was simply amazing; easy to work with and we really were coming up with a bunch of concepts together. I am so glad that I had come across her work after she had done a beautiful photo-shoot with my friend Polina. Kyria is able to bring out your hidden personality; your sexuality and or your sensitivity. Her camera is her poetry and she simply: projects it with ease.

As you can probably tell we decided to use  a vintage inspiration (oh, how surprising!) mixed with my love of Vespa’s, Jean Shrimpton and Plaid 60s suits. We shot the photos in my house and found it to be the perfect location for future shoots.

The inspiration: Jean Shrimpton.

Other inspirations: Audrey Hepburn, Raquel Welch, Jean Shrimpton, Twiggy (of course).

A friend I know I will have forever, and an inspiration for having such a soul for the art she adores.
Check out Kyria’s blog, books and photos at:

http://kyriaabrahams.blogspot.com/
& a special thank you to Hamlet’s Vintage who lent a lot of the wardrobe for this swinging shoot:

http://hamletsvintage.com/

Shy….

Shy? Am I….

the heat is so great
it plays tricks with the eye
it turns the road to water
and then from water to sky
and there’s a crack in the concrete floor
and it starts at the sink
there’s a bathroom in a gas station
and i’ve locked myself in it to think

What do you all suspect I am? To be perfectly honest; I am a bit shy, in fact I am a bit private; to a point. You may meet me and I may just open up to you; telling you everything you may think you know of me.

The truth? I haven’t told you everything. In fact, I keep plenty to myself and it takes me awhile to truly divulge specific details about myself; my life; my family… I might know just how to lead you on as much as you do: playing with my feelings as if I were a cat’s toy:

Dangle, Dangle

That loving & exciting nature in front of my eyes.

My ears perk up and I’m almost captivated by your enthusiasm to pull at my heart strings.

I’m a cat; nearly independent & pleased with just a bit of affection,

but then I crave your touch, your gaze into my eyes and

I wrap my little tail around you, pulling you close.

and back in the city
the sun bakes the trash on the curb
the men are pissing in doorways
and the rats run in herds
i’ve got a dream of your face
that scares me awake
i put too much on my table
and now i got too much a stake

And when I do trust you; when you have finally broken through my barriers;

I feel like I can open myself up to a new world.  Sadly, I have trusted people who don’t deserve this.  A new friend, even a lover who has made me believe I can truly wear my heart on my sleeve….

That’s over now.

But don’t you worry; I won’t lose my romantic spirit that everyone knows me by. It’s basically woven into my soul and it would take quite a bit more for me to ever forget I am a truly passionate soulful being who believes in fate. It’s just that: it’s their loss. It’s the “emotionally unavailable”, that truly has the ability to miss out on love; on the feeling of opening up to someone who cares for them.

It’s almost as if I am being guided into their “world”, they want me to become as “quiet” as they have….

and i might let you off easy
yeah i might lead you on
i might wait for you to look for me
and then i might be gone
where i come from and where i’m going
and i’m lost in between
i might go up to that phone booth
and leave a veiled invitation on you machine
Yeah, I may actually ask these “emotionally unavailable” people back into my life based on the feelings I once shared for them; and then I end up with tears streaming down my face, crying to myself as I lay in my bed, wishing I never had even stepped foot into their presence; begging for them to answer my calls; my texts.

and you’ll stop me, won’t you
if you’ve heard this one before
the one where i surprise you
by showing up at your front door
saying ‘let’s not ask what’s next,
or how, or why’
i am leaving in the morning
so let’s not be shy

The truth is, I will always love that person;  the “emotionally unavailable” and maybe one day they’ll be able to feel as I do….

The friends and the lovers that have led my love astray;

You are forgiven and I hope you do well.

Beneath the surface…..

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There’s always a longing for trouble, adventure and just a taste of something other than the mundane.
But, in the end all I hope for is a bit of sweet magic.

“Wine is bottled poetry”. And thus I am left craving for something real.

What might appear on the surface may not be what’s truly beneath….

Joyful images…

“I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.
Anais Nin

For my own well being- a spree, of sorts.

And so it is…

If there is anything that I have needed to do and haven’t done in awhile is go to a Stache Vintage Secret Sale at my friend Jennifer’s studio in Williamsburg where she sells a wide range of vintage clothing and interior design pieces. It truly is not only one of my favorite places to shop as I am a vintage collector and it’s just like heaven to me, but it’s always always a nice chance to catch up with Jennifer while she pours me a few glasses of Champagne and this time there was a special treat: Vegan gluten-free cupcakes with Tiffany Blue frosting baked by my close friend and roommate: Jacquelyn of Vegan Bun Buns.

Stache Vintage

Growing up as the daughter of a Famous Yippie Activist definitely had an impact on my life, I always felt like an outsider growing up in Brooklyn and going to inner city schools with kids my own age. My life was not particularly like the other children I knew  and I was just starting to get used to the fact of that. I’d stroll through the very populated gritty streets of New York, looking at the other people passing by me and just question: Why?

Why do I look this way? Why are my parents and family friends so different than everyone else? Why do I have wavy hair?Why did he not call? Did I do something wrong? How can I make myself be appreciated more?

I would pick out flaw after flaw of myself and worry (sometimes still do! much to my friends disapproval) about situations I’d create within my own self. Fears of being forgotten, left behind they all would appear to be beneath the surface but if you really knew me, I’d probably show you each and every one of my self-doubt.

But then as time went on and I realized the “Why” has such an impact on my own psyche that I had to change it to: “How?” How can I be a giving person? How can I love? How can I succeed? And currently, finally safe and secure in my own shoes: I say: I am indeed a beautiful, confident and loving person with a strong personality.

Don’t get me wrong, I do have some down days but since I’ve decided to take life into my own hands & soul: follow more dreams, go for some mini vacations and enjoy time with friends and family and of course indulge in chocolate and wine and all sorts of delicious vegan foods! It really does a great deal of positivity for your confidence and makes everyday so much more beautiful than the last.

I love my friends, especially this girl: We have basically repeated ourselves over and over about how we will always be activists, grow old as activists and even with our Canes, graying hair and wrinkles: we
‘ll always stand up for what we believe. My friends; inspire me.

Ashley Byrne & I at the Sea Shepherd New York S'mores Party at VSpot.

Ashley Byrne & I at the Sea Shepherd New York S’mores Party at VSpot.

Volunteering? All the time. It’s my life. Come out to Vegans drinks on August 30th at Fontana’s in Manhattan at 7pm for a night of raffle prizes and vegan food from Clementine Bakery to benefit Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary.

So, for the sake of taking care of myself and purchasing a few new vintage items I am going to try to start my daily pictures again.
Which will include my makeup, as much as I can. Did I ever mention that I am slightly makeup obsessed? I freelance as a makeup artists and usually offer that as my gift to Animal Organizations to include in raffle prizes: Makeup with Animals by Rachel.

90s grunge look. Stache Vintage dress and 50s slip. $45.00

Makeup: All cruelty free and vegan items from Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics & Urban Decay.

Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics: Lip Tar: Hush, Cheeks: I like to use a little bit of lip tar on my cheeks and they mix nicely so it was Narcissist & hush mixed on the palm of my hand and tapped lightly.  Eyes: OCC loose pigment. (I can’t see the name!)

Urban Decay: Rock star eye liner & Stray eyeshadow. and for concealer I used Aveda & a bit of Zuzu powder! (both also cruelty free and vegan).

You can be beautiful with or without makeup but whatever you do so decide to choose: Make it vegan because there are other beautiful beings on this earth that do not deserve the torture of being tested on for our own self benefits.

Also, I must take this time to ask everyone to sign a petition to stop the cruelty of Horse Carriages and call your local Councilman. Yesterday, there was yet another Horse-Car accident and the Horse was down in the street.

Please help us stop this madness!

Go to: Http://www.NYCLASS.org and read up on the information.

01.24.12: You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you…..Don’t you?

If you know me, you know that I really am not vain…..

Last night was about me as I strolled over to the Bowery near the West Village and to 9 Bleeker, the Yippie Museum Cafe to check on some things, catch up with my mom and watch the Chinese New Year event a bit.

Whenever I am strolling in the city, I need my iPod in fact sometimes I can not even imagine living without it (though I had for a few weeks this summer!), you notice that NYC has a soundtrack because every song that comes on affects you.  As certain songs came on, I realized, right now, is a date with myself and I can be as vain as I choose. I held my chin up high, walking directly towards the direction I was going and without a care in the world dodged people, and chaos.

This city is a lonely place, I have many wonderful friends but deep down; sometimes I am just..alone. New York is known for everyone having busy schedules and barely anytime for anyone else but themselves.  I don’t believe in this, I believe in going out of my way to see the people I miss most. But last night, as I briskly walk to the West Village I just realize, I should throw myself into moments such as these, where for once I can just enjoy my time. That’s right, MY time for now. The rain felt nice on my head as I let my obvious natural waves soak in the drops. I felt revived, for just that instant.

I met up with my mother and we walked to Rice, one of my favorite places to eat in the West Village, not only do they have a separate vegan menu but they are mostly gluten free..this make someone with my allergies and restrictions a very happy lady. After sipping a glass of White wine, enjoying the company of my mother and basically confiding details of my everyday life to her, it is easy to see why I love my mom, really, she supports me in every decision I make and is ultimately proud of me and she means it.  I may have ended up with my father’s confidence and strength to view my opinions and stand up for my rights (not to mention activism) but I ended up with my mothers love and empathy.  Without these two people, I would not be the beautiful…and honestly, not so vain person that I am.

Still a little bit at peace with that glass of wine I decided that we would stroll on over to Whole Foods where I had to do a bit of shopping, and that’s exactly what I did. My favorite two items were: Lavender Bath Salts & Jasmine/Lavender incense, yes…this is my way of romancing MYSELF. Decadence at it’s finest.  🙂

Delicious.

We chatted a bit more and I let her listen to some nice music on my iPod,  she enjoyed it, closing her eyes and apparently moved by the vocals.

After leaving each other on the train I decided though it was late, I would take a stroll in Park Slope, why? Because I wanted inspiration; I am craving a slight get away and needed this as a little pick me up though the evening fell a bit brisk with the rain..I got off the train at Union Street in Brooklyn and half ran some of the way until I decided to get on the train again. The conclusions I come to myself as I do this are always rejuvenating, I am filled with joy as I run: yes in heeled boots and carrying a purse, but the energy that seizes me is intense.

When I arrived home, I spent the rest of the night first watching a bit of  TV with Jacquelyn &  enjoying a peaceful bath with my new bath salts. When I returned to my room I lit the incense and soaked in the sweet aroma of having the rest of the night to myself.

And now I bring you to my outfit for today:

Local Design Retro Dress

Black & Red Bow Cardigan

This morning I stepped out to the bright of the sun’s rays;

So I run, and I run, to the bright and shining sun
Yes I run and I run to the bright and shining sun

And again, feeling positive, turned up my iPod and briskly walked to the subway with my chin held up high, I knew that this would be just another lovely day in my life and there is no need to feel lonely when I have so many wonderful people by my side but most of all, I have myself.

So I run, and I run, to the bright and shining sun
Yes I run and I run, to the bright and shining sun
I won’t let the days melt into a haze,
I want to feel my heart I want to be amazed
So I run and I run to the bright and shining sun….

(First songs lyrics: You’re so vain by Carly Simon and second song  “To the Bright and Shining Sun” lyrics are by my long time friends band: The Walls,  (Dublin, Ireland) & the word for today is: swimmingly….

01.23.12: Love Reign O’er me…..

Only love
Can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky.
Only love
Can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high.

Love Reign O’er me…..

This song happens to be from one of my all time favorite movies, Quadrophenia. If you know me, I constantly mention it and will go out of my way to see it almost, (well), monthly.  But, I will wait another time to actually type up a whole post, and or several posts dedicated to this epic cult classic, film. Quadrophenia was written, directed and produced by the band, The Who with their rhythmic songs throughout the movie you don’t know whether to relax and watch it and or dance to it. Are you a Mod or a Rocker? Well, watch the movie and you’ll find out. This movie happens to also be Sting’s first acting role as a mod, and he played it well.

Today I awoke to rain outside my window that reminded me of when I lived in Dublin: slight mist, about 40 degrees and the kind of sprinkles that either you really don’t need your umbrella but you’d prefer it, this is not what mother nature intended us do in this type of overcast; she intends us to bathe ourselves in it, enjoy it.   I hurriedly chose my outfit that reminds me kind of the one I wore yesterday as I am again wearing yellow tights(I have two pairs!) and a black dress but decided to throw on one of my favorite long cardigan sweaters and my favorite vintage  blue necklace.

Color Blocking....on a rainy day.

So tonight, I will choose not to use my umbrella as I decide to run over to “The Yippie Museum Cafe”, a cafe with a historical background in the West Village that I am on the board of directors of.  Tonight we will be holding a celebration of the Chinese New Year.  9 Bleeker Street (or what I grew up calling it ” Number 9″) was first rented in 1973 by The Youth International Party, which included at one point activists and heroes, Abbie Hoffman(of the Chicago 7th), Dana Beal, Jerry Rubin, Paul Krassner & Aron Kay (my father), A.J. Weberman (my uncle) & many other people. The Yippie Museum cafe is now chartered by The New York Board of regents to preserve the history behind it.

The cafe strives to hold events in support of activism going on all over the world; holding benefits for Occupy Wall Street, peace benefits & numerous other demonstrations. We also hold comedy shows, open mics and continuously and will always be dedicated to the artist community. When you walk the sweet smells of different teas, vegan pastries and food  and coffee will seize you.  I can guarantee you will witness old hippies still wearing their tye-dye’s from the 60’s debating on the different era’s the political state of world has been in and or see hipsters/mods & even suits ordering coffee and sitting down to enjoy and take in the art while they are on their laptops taking freedom of the wi-fi.  I love hanging out here not only because of my history with growing up here but because it is home to me.

My birthday this year will be held here with a theme of the 60s, mod clothes appreciated! On April 12th in honor and donation of the  Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary.  So clearly, I am looking for a band that can play 50s, 60s & 70s music so I can rock out to The Beatles, The Kinks, The Monkees etc….while wearing my go-go boots. This cafe will be turned into Andy Warhol’s factory for the night and it will be epic. (The band must also know how to play Oasis songs :)) Obviously, I am very excited for this…and will be sending out invites in the next few months.

Now that I mentioned Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary, I should speak briefly on it before I write that long post, as well. I first found out about Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary about 3 years ago as I am vegan (wait, you know that!) and believe in volunteering as much as I can. I have been volunteering for them for over 2 years now first starting with heading up there as much as I can and then doing the “Ask a Vegan” booth in NYC (usually Union Square) where people can come up to me and my fellow volunteer and ask us questions and pick up literature on how to go vegan, the sanctuary etc. Then  continuing to volunteer for our summer concerts we held 2 years ago where Moby & Sean Lennon has performed to help raise money for the farm.  I continue to volunteer and raise benefits. Jenny and Doug have become wonderful friends of mine and they inspire me because they really do give it their all where the  over 200 loving beings live happy and peaceful lives. 🙂

Dylan, the cow, who I have watched grow! & Pogo, the cat.

It is my #1 tradition that every birthday I go up and spend time with the sentient beings I love & care about (though I go up as much as I can throughout the year!).  Obviously, with the picture above, I am wearing my vintage 70s jacket while I cuddle with just two of my favorite critters up there. Dylan, the cow and I are very close and he recognizes me every time he sees me; running towards my voice and bending his head down to me to scratch it. He has licked me & he just melts my heart.

So now that you know what I will be planning for my birthday weekend….and it’s not even close to here yet and that I absolutely love the movie Quadrophenia as well as that I am looking for a band to play at my birthday..I will bid you all goodbye for now.

Please stop by the cafe for any of our events and you might actually bump into me at one. 🙂 (Like tonight!)

Yippie museum cafe is located at: 9 Bleeker Street in NYC.  Please check out Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary at www.woodstocksanctuary.org. 

On the dry and dusty road
The nights we spend apart alone
I need to get back home to cool cool rain.
The nights are hot and black as ink
I can’t sleep and I lay and I think
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain……

And Happy Chinese New Year! I was born in the year of the dog. (Makes sense if you know me, right?)

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